One day when I came home and was cooking dinner in the kitchen, my new cute husband was standing next to me, telling me about his day and sauteing onions. As I looked over at his profile, I noticed one thing… and I felt… ashamed. He had a fat neck, and I was the horrible, superficial newlywed that noticed. Of COURSE I didn’t say anything! What do you even say?! “Honey, it’s been 3 months and you’re letting yourself go?” No way – even I’M not that horrible of a person (out loud, anyway)!
I go about life (trying not to stare), and two days later we’re eating dinner. Out of no where, P-dizzle looks at me and says: “Have you noticed my neck?”
NOW what?! Do I acknowledge how mean I am or do I lie? Instead, I take the wiser approach…I ask a question: “What are you talking about?” Good one.
“Look at me,” and he turns straight on to me. “One side of my neck is swollen.”
“Ooooh, yeah, look at that, I kind of noticed…” trailing off response. And I quietly applaud myself for being soooo mature and deciding to love my husband even if he had a fat neck. So, he goes to the doctor and gets antibiotics… and goes again for different antibiotics… and still no effect. My darling fit-as-can-be husband goes in for an MRI, where we find out that he has a cyst in his neck that has to be removed. We both just look at each other thankful that this didn’t happen before the wedding (see, we’re both superficial – perfect match!).
That said, my patient husband is now at home recuperating from his 1 hour surgery and I get to play nurse… no little outfits, focus please, but it does make me have much appreciation for real nurses because I would suck at it.
PS. I have been forbidden from providing pictures.