How to lose 30 lbs in 1 hour

One day when I came home and was cooking dinner in the kitchen, my new cute husband was standing next to me, telling me about his day and sauteing onions.  As I looked over at his profile, I noticed one thing… and I felt… ashamed.  He had a fat neck, and I was the horrible, superficial newlywed that noticed.  Of COURSE I didn’t say anything!  What do you even say?!  “Honey, it’s been 3 months and you’re letting yourself go?”  No way – even I’M not that horrible of a person (out loud, anyway)!

I go about life (trying not to stare), and two days later we’re eating dinner.  Out of no where, P-dizzle looks at me and says: “Have you noticed my neck?”

NOW what?!  Do I acknowledge how mean I am or do I lie?  Instead, I take the wiser approach…I ask a question: “What are you talking about?”  Good one.

“Look at me,” and he turns straight on to me.  “One side of my neck is swollen.”

“Ooooh, yeah, look at that, I kind of noticed…” trailing off response.  And I quietly applaud myself for being soooo mature and deciding to love my husband even if he had a fat neck.   So, he goes to the doctor and gets antibiotics… and goes again for different antibiotics… and still no effect.  My darling fit-as-can-be husband goes in for an MRI, where we find out that he has a cyst in his neck that has to be removed.  We both just look at each other thankful that this didn’t happen before the wedding (see, we’re both superficial – perfect match!).

That said, my patient husband is now at home recuperating from his 1 hour surgery and I get to play nurse… no little outfits, focus please, but it does make me have much appreciation for real nurses because I would suck at it.

PS. I have been forbidden from providing pictures.

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5 thoughts on “How to lose 30 lbs in 1 hour

  1. Hi Tina. I hope your ex-fat hubby is now recuperating as you hurry to his every beck and call. I trust the docs did a good job and plastic surgery will not be needed. Lords knows what type of a blog that would elicit !;). Kisses to the patient for us !
    Tita lulu

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