Meet Ike

We have a dog named Ike.  Yes, some like to call us Tina and Ike, because we are a perfect match.  He is a mutt we accidentally adopted, and now he rules our life.  Often we pass away the time making up different voices for ike.  He swears a lot, a nasty habit we’re trying to make him kick, but you would too if you had to pee on a pad and had a really small penis.  This is the conversation Ike had with us last night.

Alright bitches, I am in my bed like you told me to be.  Don’t I get some sorta treat for this s***?




Okay now I’m getting bored.  You’ve been sitting there forever.  Mother F*****s.  You think you’re better than me.




Maybe… if I move closer… they won’t notice anything different and I can get up on the couch…




WHAT ARE YOU? F****** BLIND?????  I’m right HERE.  Let me up for god’s sake!!!  I’m so F****** cute, how can you RESIST THIS???  ARE YOU MADE OF STEEL???




Okay, you win.  Here, have my f****** bone.  GOD.  DAMN.  Just let me UP!




Aaaaaah, that’s right bitches.  This is MY world! What you lookin’ at?  Rub my belly.



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