We have a dog named Ike. Yes, some like to call us Tina and Ike, because we are a perfect match. He is a mutt we accidentally adopted, and now he rules our life. Often we pass away the time making up different voices for ike. He swears a lot, a nasty habit we’re trying to make him kick, but you would too if you had to pee on a pad and had a really small penis. This is the conversation Ike had with us last night.
Alright bitches, I am in my bed like you told me to be. Don’t I get some sorta treat for this s***?
Okay now I’m getting bored. You’ve been sitting there forever. Mother F*****s. You think you’re better than me.
Maybe… if I move closer… they won’t notice anything different and I can get up on the couch…
WHAT ARE YOU? F****** BLIND????? I’m right HERE. Let me up for god’s sake!!! I’m so F****** cute, how can you RESIST THIS??? ARE YOU MADE OF STEEL???
Okay, you win. Here, have my f****** bone. GOD. DAMN. Just let me UP!
Aaaaaah, that’s right bitches. This is MY world! What you lookin’ at? Rub my belly.